by Jeffrey Stanley
BFS welcomes new Head of Middle School Martha Haakmat, who comes to us after more than two decades of experience in New York City's independent schools. For the past 14 years she served at Packer Collegiate where she taught English, history and health education, co-created and led workshops and classes on social-emotional learning and identity for adolescents, and served as the school's first diversity coordinator. The latter is a particular passion for Martha. Packer's Head of School Bruce L. Dennis described her as "not afraid to ask tough questions and facilitate necessary, but sometimes uncomfortable, conversations," guiding students "to think deeply, speak confidently and act with purpose and heart." She holds an MS from Bank Street College of Education and a Bachelor's from Wesleyan University.
We conducted a Q&A with Martha in mid-August as she continued
unpacking and settling in to her new space at 375 Pearl Street.
The wall behind the desk of her fifth floor office is lined with her daughters' artwork. Higher up hangs a framed set of self-portraits that her entire third grade class at Trevor Day created for her as a gift when she was pregnant with her first daughter, a charming piece of art that continues to make her smile even after all these years. "They still look exactly like their self-portraits," she quipped. Closer to her desk hangs a slew of family snapshots as well as photos of Martha and some young women in South Africa where she taught health and ran a girls' group on several community service trips.
Probably the biggest question for our Middle School students, faculty and parents is, what are your plans?
I went to a Middle School collection in the spring and a student asked me that exact question – what are you gonna change? (laughs) My biggest goal this first year is to meet the faculty and see what's working and where they'd like to grow and make changes. There are strong teachers here with many years of expertise and experience and I want to get to know them and listen to them. I'm not here to 'fix what's broken' but to make it the best place it can be. I see my job as a great opportunity, not this daunting task to make changes. My first priority is to support the faculty so they can engage and excite students and help them to become positive, contributing members and leaders of a quickly changing world.
You've made diversity issues a major cause in your professional life over the past decade. Why's that so important to you?
It's hard to be a black woman at an independent school and not have diversity be a part of who you are every day.This awareness empowers me as I continue to grow and learn, and it gives me insights that help me to connect with people as individuals with their own, unique stories.
Did you set out planning to be the leader of a Middle School?
After college, I thought I would try out independent schools. My plan was to get that training and then go straight to public schools and apply it there. Unfortunately, my visits and research into public schools left me feeling shut down and shut out. And this was at some of Manhattan's top public schools. It made me sad. I realized that I needed a connection with my colleagues. A sense of community. Independent schools allowed me to stay true to myself and to still teach students to go out and do good in the world.
You've also taught a variety of subjects. English and history, but also math. These seem like different sides of the brain.
I started out teaching lower school and then English and history in middle and upper school, but I was someone who always wound up thinking, I love what I'm doing but I'd like to keep growing and learning. Many mentors along the way said, great! and I was allowed to change and create new opportunities as a teacher and leader for 24 years. People in the independent schools have been really wonderful in guiding and helping me as I've grown into myself.
One of the snapshots on your wall is from South Africa. What's that about?
A friend runs an art program there. These are kids from the townships who live in tin shacks and often don't have enough food to eat, yet they are joyful, wonderful, and hungry for education.
What kind of work did you do?
I ran a girls' group of 13 to 19 year olds, young women who face unbelievable obstacles as females in their communities. Within days of talking, we were hugging and dancing and singing together. They taught me so much. It is so hard to leave them each time I go. They're lovely.
You were teaching them art?
It was an art education program and I also taught health, sex education, substance abuse prevention, and decision making. I fight with myself about wanting to find a way to bring them all here so they can have a taste of all that a school like BFS can offer, but the answer is to equip them to make changes there. What I want for them will not happen easily.
How often did you go?
I've been three times through an organization called Artworks for Youth and a community service collaboration at Packer.
You seem to be one of those rare people who aren't afraid to jump in and try to lead even in difficult situations. Are you a natural-born leader or is this a skill you had to teach yourself?
I'm the oldest of three daughters. I was always the boss. (laughs)
Are you still their boss?
I still do a lot of planning of family gatherings, figuring out who's going to sleep where, who's on meal duty, etc.. It's a pretty big family – two sisters, cousins, extended family.
What do you do when you're not at school?
With three daughters, a tenth, seventh and third grader, I'm a little busy. Whenever we can we travel all over to see relatives. Florida, North Carolina, California, Italy.
That's history repeating itself in your generation. Did growing up as one of three daughters yourself prepare you for the job?
Definitely.
Can you tell us about your husband?
His name is Stephen Warner. He's in education, too, serving as the Assistant Head of the Lower School at Allen-Stevenson, a boys' school on Manhattan's Upper East Side. We met in college.
Do you guys still live in Brooklyn?
Yes, Prospect Lefferts Gardens.
Are you a New York City native?
I grew up on Staten Island so I feel like the answer to that is no (laughs) because it felt so separate from everywhere else, but yes, officially I was born and raised in New York City.
What was your familiarity with Friends schools and Quakerism before now?
At first not being familiar with Quakerism made me a little anxious, but I have a sister who used to work here, Jennifer Haakmat, and she used to tell me every day, come here! It's such a great community! It fits with who you are.
Why didn't you listen to her?
When I moved to Brooklyn I wanted my daughter to come here and I applied to teach here. I also applied to Packer.
They beat BFS to the punch?
I was thrilled to take the job at Packer. Two weeks later BFS called me in for an interview but I had already made my commitment.
And you stayed at Packer for 14 years. It's been a roundabout path but we finally have you. Do you still think you can thrive at a Friends school?
I feel like Quaker principles are how I live my life. Trying to be a good person, and caring about other people, all of my work with diversity, wanting to make a positive difference. This opportunity felt like a fantastic match.
Most newcomers are a little apprehensive at first about the whole concept of Quaker meeting, sitting in silence for 45 minutes at least once a week as a way of "getting centered" or "listening to your inner light." How does that strike you?
Having a designated place and time to sit silently and reflect? That sounds like something I've wanted for a long time. That sounds like a dream come true to me.