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WEEK of OCTOBER 28, 2002
@BFS! archives

The Power of Silence

by Andy Cohen

On September 23, 2002, Andy Cohen (media/television production faculty and founder of the Bridge Film Festival) offered a talk about Quaker Meeting for the Upper School collection. Jiri Schubert (theater tech director) designed a simple but dramatic set consisting of a Meeting House bench and a graffiti-tagged window. He added lighting and sound effects. And a short film clip of a Meeting for Worship from the 1956 film, “Friendly Persuasion” was shown.

It was a powerful collection, and important enough that we’ve decided to share the text of that talk with our online audience.

Silence can be a powerful thing. This past summer I traveled to a Quaker retreat at Pendle Hill, in Wallingford, Pennsylvania. Part of the retreat included twenty-four hours of observing silence.

One day: no talking.

Denying the power of speech enables heightened awareness of the senses of sight, sound, touch, smell and taste. My group shared meals together and it was amazing to hear how noisy eating can be. The sounds of silverware tingling against plates, the movement of chairs, the growling of stomachs, and the chewing of food (especially your own). Although the meals were simple, the aromas seemed more pungent. The flavors of individual ingredients were identifiable through taste and textures. This may be part of what Thich Nhat Hanh refers to as “living with awareness.”

Silence can be a powerful thing.

Today I am going to talk with you about Quaker Meeting. What it is. How we practice it in the Brooklyn Friends Upper School. And how we all can become a little more involved in Meeting this year.

What is Quaker Meeting? Most of us know, sort of. Or at least we have our own definitions of what it is and perhaps that is as it should be.

In the Upper School handbook, Meeting is defined as:

Meeting for Worship. Once each week students and faculty members assemble in the meeting house for a short period of silence, personal and corporate searching and reflection, and sharing of insights and concerns.

A Pendle Hill pamphlet describes Meeting this way:

From the outside looking into a meeting house, we see a plain room without cross, pulpit, altar, sculpture, stained glass or other decorative features. We hear no music and see no minister. People are sitting silently on plain benches. The silence gradually deepens. Someone stands to share briefly a message, perhaps about a passage of the Bible that illumines an experience during the week; perhaps about a personal relationship that reveals a more general truth. Perhaps several others rise to speak to the same thought. Or maybe no one speaks.

After about an hour, each turns to shake the hands of those around one. They then rise, talking with each other as they depart, apparently reluctantly.

I have my own definition:

The Brooklyn Friends community is derived from different backgrounds and faiths, and regardless of whether you are Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, Buddhist, Agnostic or Atheist, we all have certain “truths” in common. We were all born, we will all die, and between those events we experience life. At some point in our lives, we seek the truth to the question why.

Do you know the name Quaker is not the actual name of the denomination? When Quakerism began and people would hear of or witness practitioners trembling and quaking before standing and speaking in meeting, they would laugh and make fun of the parishioners by calling them Quakers.

Sometimes I get nervous before I stand and speak in Meeting too. And if you think about it, there was probably more reason to be nervous back in 1650 when George Fox founded this religion. He began with the radical belief that everyone had an equal ability to interpret and bring the truth to Meeting. Regardless of your station in life, whether you were wealthy or poor, old or young, man or woman, Fox believed Meeting provided the freedom of expression to all. Some paid for this freedom with prison sentences, even death. In comparison, it wasn’t until 270 years later that the United States gave the right to vote to women.

So what is the actual name of the denomination? Presently, it is The Religious Society of Friends. Friends of what? The flowers and trees? The earth and animals? Some time ago, the name was shortened. The original name was the Religious Society of Friends of the Truth.

So, how do we get to this truth?

When I go to Meeting, I leave as much of the outside world “outside” as possible. I don’t bring my backpack, walkman, palm pilot, or cellphone with me. I like to enter the Meeting House in simplicity. Next, I find a space to sit. Once seated, I do a couple neck and shoulder rolls, and then I straighten my back and close my eyes. Closing one’s eyes in a community is an act of trust, trust that everyone of that community will respect the space and silence.

I remember my first Quaker Meeting with students. It was four years ago, when some of the senior class were my 8th grade advisees. As someone new to the school I was told that weekly Quaker Meetings were mandatory for all faculty. When I asked what I had to do in Meeting, they told me I had to sit in silence. And I thought: I can do this. All kidding aside, I have practiced meditation in the past but have always found it difficult to make the time for it. So I was pleased to have a job where it was a requirement.

I came to that Meeting five minutes early and found the room empty. But I knew as soon as the first person entered the room and sat down the Meeting would begin. So I walked down the aisle and sat on a bench near the front. I did some neck rolls, made myself comfortable, and closed my eyes. I began repeating a Buddhist mantra to myself over and over again. By repeating the mantra I was trying to clear the mind and go within. This is what Quakers refer to as centering down.

I could sense a few people entering the Meeting House but I continued repeating my mantra going further inward. And, after a time, I heard a voice! No it wasn’t God’s. A student stood up and spoke. I opened my eyes and was amazed that I was surrounded by people; the Meeting House was full and observing silence except for the voice of the student. This had a powerful impact on me. In this simple act, our community was demonstrating equal respect for each individual member of the school.

In Meeting, once sitting and centering down, one begins listening with awareness. Someone may stand and give a message. This is a time to listen carefully and consider what’s been said. Consider not only the sentences but the individual words. And try to separate the message from the messenger.

When one is centering down in Meeting and a thought or idea presents itself, how do you discern if it is a message worthy of standing and speaking to the Meeting? There are many answers to that question, but it comes down to individual judgment.

Our Meeting ends with a handshake. It is a tradition to turn to everyone who is in your immediate vicinity and shake hands.

This year on a rotating basis we assigned our advisees with the responsibility to help with Quaker Meeting. When it is your advisory’s turn, you will be informed by your advisor. Prior to Meeting, you will be dismissed from class five minutes early to go to the Meeting House to make sure all is in order. You will be responsible for greeting students and faculty outside of the doors to the Meeting House in silence. Your group may or may not choose to present a query to the Meeting. Meeting will be ended by a handshake by a member of the Senior class, with some final thoughts before dismissal.

Anyone interested in becoming more involved with Quaker Meeting or the spiritual life of our community you can speak to your advisor or me, or you may join the Spiritual Life Committee.

A student once said to me: “Quaker Meeting is a complete waste of time.” I responded, “If you think Quaker Meeting is a complete waste of time, it will be.” Meeting is similar to any other class you have here at school in that the more effort you contribute, the better the rewards. Yet, Quaker Meeting is different from all other classes because in Meeting, you are your own teacher.

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